A Simple Mind
by Lil-Hellraiser
Summary: Don’t you know what I’d do for you?” James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . .but his feelings aren’t returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?
1. Morning Glory

A Simple Mind  
  
Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . .but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?  
  
Disclaimer: JK is the soul provider for these great ideas and talents; I merely embellish them into what you see before you now.  
  
Author's Note: This is a story taking place in Lily and James' seventh year at Hogwarts. It will go all the way to their graduation day, and then I might write a sequel. I've been thinking about this story for a while now, so it's only fitting that I start writing it. This is my first romance fic, so please don't hate!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
James Potter woke up on Sunday morning with a feeling of excitement deep in his gut. The sun was barely visible over the mist rising from the ground, but as he looked out his window, he could tell it would be a good day. Reaching over to his bed-side stand, he felt for his round, thin-rimmed glasses and carefully placed them over his ears. He pulled the sheets off of him and jumped out of his bed, having the excitement within him replaced with a wave of anxiousness.  
  
After showering with his favorite shampoo and soap, and shaving with his manliest after-shave lotion, he brushed his teeth vigorously and flossed until his gums bled from the harsh rubbing.  
  
He grimaced as he caught sight of his hair in the mirror, and grabbed a prickly brush to tame it with. However, James' hair remained wild and the brush handle snapped, leaving the actual brush caught in the tangled mass of locks. He winced as he sharply pulled it from his head, and angrily threw it to the floor.  
  
Pulling on some neatly pressed blue-jeans, he searched his closet for a shirt that didn't have any stains or botches on it from ink. He grinned as he pulled one out, a scarlet one, and slipped it over his head. A pair of his finest black leather loafers sat in the corner of his room, and he pulled them onto his feet, tying them with the utmost care.  
  
Crossing to the other side of the room, he admired himself in the mirror.  
  
"Positively gorgeous!" the mirror said, voicing what James had only just been thinking.  
  
Yes, the mirror talks. In fact, most of them did, where James was from. James was a wizard, in his seventh (and final) year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was going to pursue his life-goal of becoming an Auror after he graduated which was a career his long dead father had favored. Mr. Potter had been one of the most famous Aurors in the wizarding world, but had been tragically killed while saving five muggles from a new threat that called themselves Death Eaters.  
  
Back in the present, James was inspecting his face for pimples. Of course, he didn't have any, for his mother was once a very successful Medi-Witch (she had retired early), and she always only needed a flick of her wand or a small drop of bubotuber pus to rid his face of blemishes (which he seldom got anyway).  
  
Smoothing his shirt with his hands, he cleared his throat, and looked back into the mirror at his own reflection.  
  
"Hey there!" he said, waving. "How's your summer been?" James shook his head, and started over. "Hi! What's new with you?" He asked, grinning a little too widely. He quickly wiped the horrifying look off of his face.  
  
"Yo." He said, making a gun-shape with his right hand, while running the left one through his hair. He smiled. 'Perfect', he thought giddily.  
  
"Yo, yourself." A voice said from the doorway. Mrs. Bianca Potter made her way into the room, her nightgown billowing behind her in layers of silk. He smiled warmly at her while she hugged him, and stepped back a foot.  
  
"My, my. Look at you! You're certainly putting in the effort to look your best this year. For once." She muttered the last two words but James heard her anyway and put on a fake puppy dog pout. Mrs. Potter frowned as she licked her fingers and began the impossible task of trying to make James' hair stay flat, but Alas, this is why it is called an impossible task. It cannot be done. He had been cursed from the time he grew hair with the famous Potter looks.  
  
James looked exactly like his dad, especially in the face. They had the exact same smile and the same type of jaw; they're hair was free and refused to stay put, and of course, James had inherited the Potter charm. Yes, it was a saying in their family that every male Potter looked exactly as their senior did, but they did not inherit the eyes; those came from the mother.  
  
At the moment, two identical pairs of chocolate brown eyes were glinting in the same mischievous manner, and they both threw back their heads and laughed, Mrs. Potter laughing softly, like the wind, and James, laughing deeply, and rich.  
  
"Why up so early?" His mother asked, curiously eyeing the clock on the wall. "It's barely six-thirty! James, we don't need to leave for the station until about ten!"  
  
Kings Cross Station was the particular station they had to be at, you see, because if you run through a certain barrier between platforms 9 and 10, you end up boarding the Hogwarts Express, which will take you directly to Hogwarts School.  
  
James shrugged and avoided the older woman's gaze as he bent over to pick up his Quidditch play book. Mrs. Potter raised her eyebrows, but said no more.  
  
"Well, you've woken me up, and since I can't get back to sleep, I might as well join you for breakfast." She gracefully left the room and James could hear her walking down the hallway of their mansion. After polishing his shoe, he checked himself in the mirror once more, then made his way downstairs.  
  
The dining room had the early morning sunlight from the enchanted ceiling filtering in through it, and a lovely breakfast was already hot and steaming on separate platters. James filed eggs, bacon, ham, and toast onto his plate and poured himself a glass of orange juice from a pitcher that was settled nicely in the middle of the table. He sat down, and grabbed a napkin from under his silverware and tucked it into his shirt before proceeding to carefully butter his toast.  
  
"How cute!" Mrs. Potter's voice rang in his ears and he promptly dropped the toast buttered-side-down onto his pants.  
  
"Mum!" James cried out in alarm, and didn't move, for fear of smearing the stuff into his pants even worse than before.  
  
Finding this amusing, Mrs. Potter giggled and walked over to James, wand pointed out at the toast. "Scourgify!" She said lightly, and the butter disappeared. Breathing a sigh of relief, James decided that eating his eggs would be safer, and started on that next.  
  
"My God!" His mother exclaimed. "I have never seen you act so well behaved! You don't even act this way at my dinner parties!"  
  
Not wanting to answer that, he downed his juice, finished his plate of food, and hurried back up to his room to make sure he had packed all of his school things into his trunk.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The rest of the morning passed without many events, except for James' constant checking of the clock. Noticing this little interaction, Mrs. Potter suggested flying for a while, for she knew that James shared his father's love for Quidditch as well as his looks, but he declined, muttering something about his 'hair already being messy enough'.  
  
At long last, the two family members loaded the heavy trunk into Mrs. Potters' car, and they drove into London, which took the better half of thirty minutes. As they arrived at the station, people gave them bizarre looks while they walked, and James had always guessed that his trunk had attracted attention.  
  
Reaching the platform, Platform 9 ¾, James said farewell to his mother.  
  
"Bye, Mum." He said hugging her, and quickly kissed her cheek. "Goodbye, Jamie." She said and watched as he ran through the barrier.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Prongs! How've ya been?"  
  
Suddenly, there was a mass of dark hair surrounding James' vision, and he shoved it all away on impulse, because he was trying to maintain his record. He had to look nice today; everything had to go * perfect *.  
  
"Whoa, someone's sure spiffy today!" Sirius Black said, taking a step back to take a look at his best friend. James once pretty-ok hair was now tangled and messy again, his shirt was rumpled, and his glasses were terribly askew.  
  
"SIRIUS! I spent all morning trying to manage my hair!"  
  
"Since when did you care about your hair?" Remus Lupin, resident bookworm, and only Werewolf of the bunch of friends popped his head out of a compartment, which James loaded his stuff into.  
  
"Since(you know(" James trailed off uncertainly, and his friends shared knowing looks.  
  
Suddenly, the compartment opened, and two girls entered. One of them was a cute brunette named Lynette, with gleaming gray eyes and a cheery smile. The other was a petite blonde named Paige, with sharp brown eyes and usually wore a suggestive, curved smile on her face. Both of the girls smiled at Sirius and Remus who blushed and turned to look out the window and onto the platform.  
  
The train began to move and everyone grabbed hold of a rail or seat so that they wouldn't fall over.  
  
"Free space here?" Paige asked politely, but slid her trunk onto an overhead compartment and took a seat anyway, Lynette following her example. The two girls sat down opposite the boys and crossed their legs (female instinct) which happened to hike up the Lynette's shorts and Paige's skirt by a couple of inches. The three boys suddenly felt the room get a bit hot, and Remus actually stood up and tried to excuse himself, but the compartment door opened, and a redheaded girl entered, looking flustered.  
  
James' heart stopped beating.  
  
This is what everything had to be * perfect * for.  
  
Lillian Evans stood in the doorway, a white shirt accenting her bright green eyes, and a red skirt that matched her hair perfectly. Green earrings dangled from her ears and her pearly white teeth shone as she smiled upon seeing her friends.  
  
"Hey, Lily." Lynette said, motioning her over. "We were wondering where you got to!"  
  
"Sorry, I was busy speaking with the train conductor." She said. "I had to get the key to my compartment."  
  
"What compartment?" Sirius asked. "Why do you get a key? I want a key. Not need. I WANT." His voice began to take on a demanding tone.  
  
"Because of this," Lily said and took out a red and gold badge from her pocket. She pinned it to her blouse and stood with authority.  
  
"Head Girl." Paige said proudly. "Oh, Lily, I'm so happy for you!" Just then, Remus began to chuckle, and Sirius started making funny choking sounds.  
  
"What?" Lily asked. "Something funny? Let's hear it."  
  
Sirius elbowed James in the side, to which James returned with a smarting slap to the back of his head. As Sirius rubbed his head, James pulled a badge from his pocket, also red and gold. He held it up for all to see.  
  
"No(" Lily said acknowledging James' presence for the first time. "Are you - this is a mistake. I've got to see -"  
  
"Evans, I'm Head Boy. Deal with it."  
  
He had apparently said the wrong words, because her eyes took on a dangerous glow, and he shifted around in his seat, a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"Oh, REALLY?" She asked. "Potter, I WILL get to the bottom of this. If this is one of your sick jokes, then -"  
  
"It's not a joke, Evans!" James said, his voice rising. "Here, look! It's just like yours, except for this little 'B' here! Nothing is different. It's a real badge, and I'm really Head Boy."  
  
Lily looked ready to kill. Remus was looking at her with his lips in an 'O' shape and his eyes wide, while Sirius was gawking openly at the two. Only Lily's friends maintained a look of calm, as if they saw this sort of thing happen everyday.  
  
"Well, then." She said, shutting her eyes tightly. "I believe we have a prefect meeting to attend." And she stormed from the compartment, leaving James in a look of shock. How had he already screwed up THAT fast? This was not going good at all.  
  
James followed her angrily to the prefect's compartment, where Lily had already started the meeting without him. He made little nods once and awhile, but mostly just let Lily explain everything (he had never actually been a prefect before). When it was all over, Lily walked quickly to the front of the train, to a gold-plated compartment, which he guessed was for the Head Boy and Girl. He had started to enter it, but Lily had stepped inside and locked him out before he could slide it open.  
  
She refused to speak to anyone during the ride to Hogwarts, and several students thought they heard muffled sobbing noises coming from the compartment, James included.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
That's the end of chapter one! Yeah, I know, it's a little sketchy right now, but it'll get better, I promise! If I could, I'd write the last chapter for you, I have it all figured out already! Sigh.  
  
Ok, so, please review and tell me what you think; however flames will be deleted. Thank You! * HUGGLES * 


	2. Many Tears

A Simple Mind  
  
Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . .but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?  
  
Disclaimer: JK is the soul provider for these great ideas and talents; I merely embellish them into what you see before you now.  
  
Authors Note: WOW! I didn't think you guys would like it that much . . .thanks for all of your reviews! (Kisses and huggles my fans(. Anyway, we hear a bit from Lily in this chapter . . .oh, and I have a problem. How do you make bold and italics? I've tried on my other stories countless times (okay, only like 5) and I can never make them. Help!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily looked out the window of the dorm she shared with her friends (I have decided that the Head Boy and Girl still have to have dorms with the people in their year). She wiped the tears from her face, although there were none there. After the feast, she couldn't bear to speak to James, as he would probably call her a baby, so she angrily left him in the Great Hall to explain to the prefects how to escort the first years to the common room.  
  
She smirked. James had never been a prefect before, either. This was rich.  
  
Why did James always say something that made her break down? How he infuriated her so! Since their fourth year, he had begun pestering her, in fifth year he was asking her out. When he realized (finally) that that was the wrong approach, he began calling her polite nicknames (such as Lillian, or Tiger Lily) all through sixth year. She had gotten quite tired of that, and finally sent him a howler on the last day of term for all to hear . . .but he wasn't deterred at all! He merely grinned at the smoking ashes covering his cinnamon bun and said (quite loudly) "She must be warming up - I'm getting letters now!"  
  
The whole of the Great Hall shook with laughter and Lily had stormed off, utterly displeased at his reaction.  
  
Brushing her curly hair, she turned to the mirror. Looking in, she saw a girl of sixteen (yet to be seventeen in November) with light freckles splashing her nose and cheeks. Her emerald green eyes were now red and puffy from crying and her lips were swollen. Her face was pale, and her cheeks were slightly pink. All in all, she looked like a walking fireball (Whoa! A rhyme! I didn't mean to . . .). Suddenly, the door to the dorm opened up, and Lynette and Paige entered the room, looking concerned.  
  
"Lily, why are you crying?" Paige asked, patting the space next to her on her bed. "Come sit down and we can talk."  
  
Slowly, Lily sat next to Paige, and was about to spill her heart out when the door opened a second time.  
  
"God, what I would GIVE to go out with Sirius Black!"  
  
"I've already given THAT away dear."  
  
Two girls entered the room, one with bleach blonde hair, and the other with raven black hair. They were laughing with their heads thrown back, and the pitch made the three other girls want to cover their ears.  
  
"Hello."  
  
The two had finally noticed them. "Hey, Erin." Lynette said, nodding to the black haired girl. "LeAnn." She said, smiling at the blonde. "How were your summers?"  
  
The girls turned to each other as if they had not heard this informal greeting, and Lynette sighed. "Come on, let's go to the common room; everyone's probably asleep by now."  
  
The Erin and LeAnn made no sign that they cared that the three others were leaving. They were still chatting away happily in a corner.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Right, I loved when you told the prefects to take a left at the portrait of the nutcracker and ballerina making out, Prongs. Sheer genius. Have you done this before?"  
  
"Knock it off. I'm new to this." James said, his hand slipping a bit from the invisibility cloak. "You and I both know that ever since first year we never walked the normal route. That's the only way I remember going!"  
  
"Sure." Sirius grinned a bit. He held the portrait open for Remus, James and Peter (who had shown up at Hogwarts during the feast) to pass through. They had been out for about an hour, eating some late-night dinner in the kitchens. After all, the Marauders were the house-elves favorite visitors . . .actually, they were pretty sure that they were the only visitors.  
  
"Shh!" Remus held out an arm to prevent the rest of them from going through the hole.  
  
"What?" James asked, and peered out from behind Remus's head. Lily, Lynette, and Paige were all sitting on one of the red couches in the deserted common room. Lily was crying.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us someone was in there?" Peter asked, and James and Sirius turned to look at Remus.  
  
"What?" He asked, then looked at the Marauders Map clutched tightly into his hands. "Oh."  
  
"Why does he have to act this way?" Lily was saying to Paige. She turned to Lynette. "Remus is such a nice guy. It's nice that you like him-"  
  
Remus made a small choking sound.  
  
"- but that's the kind of guy I need! No, I don't like Remus, but you all have to admit, he's a sweet guy!"  
  
"That's true Lils, but there are guys like him out there. Maybe James can change!" Paige said soothingly. "He's James. He's always been immature . . .how much longer can it last?"  
  
"I hope not too long." Lily sniffed. Then a full-fledged sob racked her body, and she leaned into Paige's comforting arms. "He's always so mean." She cried, and right then, James felt extremely guilty for treating Lily the way he did all these years. "I mean, I have no idea how much I can take! He just needs to grow up! Sure, he hasn't pulled a prank on anyone since sixth year, but he's still the same immature, childish, womanizing James Potter!"  
  
"God, James, I never thought you could offend someone this bad." Sirius whispered, concern in his blue eyes. "What have you done to her?"  
  
For a few more minutes, the girls talked, and then Lily shook her head.  
  
"Get out of the way!" James hissed, and the four boys quickly cleared the portrait hole as Lily ran through it. Paige got up to follow her, but Lynette held her down. "No," She said, "Leave her be. She'll be fine. I know it." Paige stared at Lynette in wonder, and then nodded. The two retreated to their dorms.  
  
Lily, on the other hand, was less assured than her friends were. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter stared down at her from under the invisibility cloak as Lily crumbled into a miserable heap outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. They looked at her with sympathy visible in their eyes, and James had a great longing to take her in his arms and cuddle her, hold her, kiss her; anything to make her feel better.  
  
Anything to reverse the damage he had caused this beautiful young woman.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. She cursed the sun for happening to beam down on her particular pillow, and when it didn't go away, she grumpily made her way to the bathroom. After showering, she brushed her teeth, and then used a simple spell to give her hair loose curls. Then she slipped on some jeans and an orange shirt and exited the bathroom.  
  
Lily's black school robes hung on a little rack by her bed; she removed it from it, and then put it on. She grabbed her wand from under her pillow, and was about to make her bed -  
  
Wait. She hadn't fallen asleep in a bed.  
  
Her stomach dropped. She remembered crying in the hallway . . .she must have fallen asleep outside the portrait. Then who had brought her inside? She shivered, remembering James and how horrible he acted. How he always laughed when she was praised by a teacher, how he called her a show-off whenever she happened to know the right answer in classes, how he played tricks and jokes on her when they needed a guinea pig for their stupid experimental pranks . . .how DARE he have the nerve to say that he had a crush on her!  
  
Lynette yawned from the next bed over and sat up. "Early bird." She muttered, and chucked a pillow at Lily. Lily grabbed it easily, and tossed it back to Lynette, who now had a face full of pillow. Lily giggled softly, but unfortunately, LeAnn woke up.  
  
"Will you guys PLEASE shut up?" she shouted and lifted her eye mask up over her head. "We need our beauty sleep if we're to be wooing the guys today."  
  
From the bed nearest to the door, Erin snorted in her sleep, her head covered in curlers.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"JAMES! WAKE UP!" Sirius yelled to James at seven forty-five that morning. "BREAKFAST IS OVER IN FIFTEEN MINUTES! CLASSES START AT EIGHT! JAMES!"  
  
But no answer. James was far, far away in a land called "Orange County". It was a magical place, where he could -  
  
"JAMIE! PIE!"  
  
Pie?  
  
James bolted up. "Is it apple?"  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Sirius said irritably, as he had just wasted ten precious eating minutes trying to wake up James. "Peter and Remus are already in the Great Hall. You were dead to the friggen world, man. What's up?"  
  
"It's all good, man." James assured him, but the look of regret on his face gave him away.  
  
"Is it Lily?"  
  
"Well . . .yeah."  
  
James had made Peter, Remus, and Sirius go to their dorm, while he carried Lily up to hers. She had such an angelic face while she was sleeping, and James found it hard not to kiss all her tears away as he laid her down, moonlight bathing her pillow with a soft glow.  
  
He had also stayed up half the night, wondering if he really was as bad, conceited, cruel as Lily made him out to be. He was quite popular, he got great marks in school, and he was an Animagus. That all had to count for something.  
  
But Lily was different. Lily didn't happen to care that James was great looking. She didn't seem to mind that he got high marks. She didn't exactly know that he was an Animagus, as he and his dorm mates were all unregistered, and could get into trouble if someone got hold of that information.  
  
No, to Lily, James was an overly conceited prat.  
  
That fact bothered him. So he pondered over and over, while lying in his four-poster bed the last night. What could he do to change? It would be hard, trying to change everything in his morals. He would need to make sure hundreds of girls didn't flaunt themselves at him daily, and that he didn't try pranking the Slytherins . . .too often. He had to try and control the habit of running his hand through his hair, and most of all, he had to control what he said to Lily.  
  
He didn't want her to end up like last night.  
  
"James?" Sirius repeated. "Are you listening? You now have ten minutes."  
  
With a yelp, James jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom for a quick shower.  
  
Sirius chuckled to himself before turning to the door and exiting the dormitory to get some of whatever was left of breakfast.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily entered the Great Hall, sat down, and spread jam on some toast, not noticing that someone was already seated next to her.  
  
"Hello." Remus said politely.  
  
"Oh, Remus, sorry. Were you saving this seat for someone?" Lily asked, apologetically.  
  
"Nope. Actually, you're just the person I wanted to see."  
  
Lily stopped moving, her toast midway between her teeth. "Yes?" She asked.  
  
"I have heard from a source that someone you know happens to have taken a liking to me." He stated in a very business-like way. Lily choked, and Remus had to whack her on the back so that she could calm down.  
  
"What?" She asked, her toast dropping like a fly.  
  
"I know." He said mysteriously. Lily watched him as if he were possessed. He maintained eye contact with her as he rose from the table, and disappeared behind the doors of the Great Hall. She stared blankly at where he last was.  
  
"How . . .odd." She said, before spreading jam onto a new piece of toast.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Classes that day went by in a blur, and coincidentally, James's head stuck out very much in it. Lily noticed that he seemed very different that day. He ignored every girl that passed him, and he seemed to be trying very hard to restrain himself from reaching up to touch his hair.  
  
It almost looked cute.  
  
Almost.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, thank you, once again for the reviews, and please don't flame me! I tried very hard to make this chapter work, so please bear with me; it will all get better! Luv ya! 


	3. Who Needs Memories?

Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . .but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?  
  
Disclaimer: JK is the soul provider for these great ideas and talents; I merely embellish them into what you see before you now.  


Authors Note: Thanks for all the reviews! This is the next chapter in my wonderful love story of Lily and James! Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lily was reading in the Common Room late one evening when James ventured in. He was obviously shocked at seeing her alone, against the firelight, and quickly turned around to leave.

"James?"

He stopped walking and faced Lily.

"Hey Lily." He said casually. _Remember what Sirius said_, he thought. _Jealousy is the key_.

"Where were you?" She asked marking a page in her book.

"Where was I…" he trailed off. Where could he have gone to make Lily jealous? "I was out."

"Out." Lily repeated, propping her book up on her knee. "Where's 'out' "?

"Oh." James said, his nervousness increasing. "Um…on a date."

"A date?"

"With a girl." He added.

Lily snorted slightly and closed her book. "Same old James Harold Potter." She muttered lightly, and began marching up to her dorm. He had forgotten that jealousy never worked on her. Damn.

"Wait!" James called. "How did you know my middle name?" 

Lily visibly froze from the top of the stairs. "Girls talk." She finally called down to him, and then left.

James was giddy with happiness. Had he just had a sort-of-almost-really-civilized conversation with Lily Evans? _Wheee. _He thought bubbly as he flung himself up upon the couch. _Maybe I do have a chance with her. _He noticed her book on a puffy chair by the fireplace and thought about returning it, but decided against it. On one hand, Lily might take it as an act of kindness and thank him so that he now had a sort of stable relationship with her. On the other hand, she may not even take the book, thinking that his germs would be on it. 

But that was for first years. Lily was maturer than that. And besides, she could still perform a perfect scouring charm to clean it if she wanted to.

"Jamessssssss." A deep voice rang out softly. He turned from his thoughts, only to see Nadine Norway, a sixth year Gryffindor, and a major-league slut. "What'cha doing her all by yourself?"

"I was feeling like being alone, so if you excuse me…"

"Oh, poor thing. Are ya cold?" She asked, trailing a finger off his arm, making him shiver slightly. 

"I'm fine, Nadine. Now please, I need to go to sleep." He was hoping that she would get the hint and let him leave, but on the contrary, Nadine looked pleased to know that he had even remembered her name.

"Sleep, huh? You don't exactly look _tired…_" She said draping and arm over his shoulders. "I could _help_ you…" 

Before James could react, Nadine had draped both her arms over him and closed any remaining space between them. She tilted her head up and planted a huge kiss on his lips. James tried to push her away, but unfortunately, it just looked like he was trying to massage her back. And the cries of 'stop!' and 'get off!' unfortunately sounded like moans, or words of encouragement.

At least, that's what it looked like from a certain redhead's point of view. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Waking up with a huge headache the next morning, Lily summoned a glass of water from her bedside table and drank its contents deeply, wondering why she had stayed to watch James and that tramp.

Her book was still laying forgotten in the Common Room, and she didn't intend to go get it anytime soon. Just thinking about the book made her want to be sick.

It reminded her of James.

Slowly, she climbed out of bed and began her morning ritual of showering first thing, dreading the rest of the day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Morning Lily!"

Grunting in response, Lily ignored Paige's feeble attempt at conversation and dug into her porridge. Paige just shrugged at Lynette. Lily had been acting crabby all morning, and she probably wasn't going to tell them about it anytime soon, so they backed off. 

"We saw you're book in the Common Room earlier." Lynette said, taking a bite out of some egg. "You know, that one about werewolves? You want it?"

A few seats away, Remus began coughing.

"No, you can keep it. It…wasn't as interesting as I had hoped."

"Fine, your loss is my gain." Lynette sipped some juice. "I find werewolves fascinating."

Remus coughed again.

"I've actually always wanted to meet one. D'you know how cool it would be to talk to someone who becomes a totally different species every month? D'you know what I could learn from them?"

Remus was choking now, and Sirius had to whack him on the back to get him to shut up.

"Well, I want to get a good seat in Arithmacy." Lynette said, swinging her bad onto her shoulder and standing up. "We're supposed to be looking up research in class for a report that we were assigned yesterday. Bye Remus." 

She had walked by Remus' seat and noticed that he was staring open mouthed at her. At her informal goodbye, his eyes just widened, and he sprinted out of the great hall to his Care of Magical Creatures Class. 

"What a weird guy." Lynette murmured, but Sirius heard her anyway. "Don't fret, Lynette." He chirped, while Lynette glared at him for trying to make a rhyme out of her name. "He does that to every pretty girl he likes."

Lynette blushed and hurried off to class.

"Yep, its love." Sirius said, sighing. James shoved him. He took a side-glance at Lily, who threw him a dirty look in return. He sighed inwardly. She seemed way nicer last night. Maybe she just wasn't a morning person.

Severus Snape was glaring at them nearby. Why? We don't know…maybe it had something to do with them hanging out with Peter. Or the fact that Peter was hanging out with them. It probably had something to do with Peter. 

"Hey, get a load of Snape." James muttered, and the group turned to glare at him. Except Peter. He looked ready to pee his pants. 

Sirius' eyes moved to a large pitcher of pumpkin juice nearby. Grinning to each other, James whispered "wingardium leviosa" and the pitcher was in the air, unnoticed by everyone. It slowly glided through the air, and it was almost over the Gryffindor table when all of a sudden –

"JAMES!" Some high-pitched female voices cried out. In surprise, James dropped his wand, which meant that the charm had worn off, and the pitcher was falling. 

He had rushed to prevent the inevitable, but the damage was done. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Lily, please talk to me!" Lily was still mute and wouldn't talk to anyone at breakfast. Paige cried out in frustration, and began attacking her eggs with her knife. 

"Help me, help me!" She said in a squeaky voice, which resembled a house elf. "Ahhhhh!" she gobbled up the egg and grinned at Lily, who finally giggled, because her blonde friend now had bits of egg stuck between her teeth. She suddenly got a feeling of being watched and turned her head to find James staring at her. She gave him the best glare she could muster at the time and continued to eat.

About five minutes later, she stood up announcing to Paige that she had to be early to Ancient Runes because of an extra assignment she had to do for class. She opened her bag and arranged all the books neatly in place before taking a step. 

"Lily! Watch out!"

Lily had no time to react to what was going on, because at that moment, something heavy and hard hit the back of her head with a nasty CRACK.

She faintly remembered Paige jumping up to catch her before she hit the ground, and then all went black.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I am VERY disappointed in you Mr. Potter!" McGonagall scolded as she led him to the hospital wing. "Do you realize what sort of damage you may have done to Miss Evans? She's been unconscious for two days now!"

"What's wrong with her?" James asked, dreading the answer.

"We won't know until she wakes up." The professor said sharply. "Honestly, Mr. Potter, I would have never expected this kind of behavior from you. And to your fellow Head Girl? I have no choice but to take sixty points from Gryffindor."

"Sixty?" James repeated incredulously. "Professor, term only started a few days ago! I'm not even sure we have sixty points to deduct!"

"Well then, we shall just have to start working with negatives now, hmm?" She said, opening the door to the hospital wing. "Goodness, Hogwarts hasn't had to do that since the year 1767 when Angelo Braxton lost ninety points from Gryffindor only the day after term began."

"Glad to know I've made history." James said dully as McGonagall led him to a bed that was secluded from the rest, with white curtains drawn up over it for privacy.

Pulling the curtains back, the two saw the sleeping form of Lily Evans. James thought she looked like an angel, the way her hair fanned out, and the sunlight shone over her in slumber. He winced when he looked at part of her shoulder that her hospital gown had slipped off of. It had a purplish-blue tint about it and a large bump as well.

"What happened to her shoulder?" James asked. "I thought she only hit her head." 

"She hit her shoulder when she fainted." McGonagall replied stiffly, covering up he shoulder with a blanket. The movement stirred Lily and she opened her eyes. McGonagall smiled as the girl sat cross-legged on the bed and glanced blankly around the hospital wing. Her eyes fell on James and he was delighted to know that when he smiled at her, she smiled back. He wondered what could have caused such a dramatic change in her feelings towards him.

"Hello, Miss Evans." McGonagall said cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thanks." She mumbled, moving the fabric of the material she was wearing beneath her fingers.

"We've taken care of everything, Lily." The older witch informed. "You've been out for two days, and all your work has been excused for you…you did take quite a fall, if I do say so myself. But no worries, Mr. Potter here has come to apologize and soon enough, you will be back to your normal routine at Hogwarts. Any questions?"

"Yes." Lily said, staring curiously at her professor. "Who are you?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

WHOOP! Third chapter done! I hope none of that was too confusing for anyone out there, I have been thinking about this chapter for a long time now. You know what to do…R&R for me! Luv ya all!

PS: I have been begging my mom for a new kitten lately, and she's beginning to crack, I can FEEL IT! So PLEASE help me out here and lend me your hopes soon! BYE!


	4. A Trip Down Memory Lane

Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . .but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?  
  
Disclaimer: JK is the soul provider for these great ideas and talents; I merely embellish them into what you see before you now.

Authors Note: Thanks for waiting everyone! Have y'all (hee…southern accent…happens a lot) heard the song "I'm Already There" by Lonestar? Gotta love that song. I can cry if I think of something sad while listening to it.

I have a problem.

Wellllll now that I've made that little declaration, ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

McGonagall snapped her head down at Lily, and James almost fell over.

"Lily, I'm Professor McGonagall, your Head of House, and Transfiguration teacher. You know that, do you not?"

Lily turned from Professor McGonagall and began to hum. "I remember being here." She said in a cheery tone. "My first day. And I remember Lions and Snakes and Badgers and Birds. There is a squid in the lake and ghosts in the castle. I know magic." She turned to James. "But I do not know him."

James' mouth opened in shock; he clamped it shut and held out his hand. "James Potter." He said, feeling rather foolish. "I'm your fellow Head Boy of Gryffindor House."

"James is also the reason you are in this situation." McGonagall said crisply, and James let his hand drop. "He has come to apologize."

Lily stared expectantly at James.

"Um…Lily ¾ that's your name okay? Lily Katherine Evans." Lily scowled.

"I know."

__

Glad to know that the old Lily is in there somewhere. James thought glumly.

"I just wanted to let you know that I had no intention of hitting you that hard."

"Mr. Potter!"

"Wait, I didn't mean that. What I meant was that I didn't mean to hit you from behind, that I was trying to get directly above your head."

"Mr. Potter!"

"Wait! That didn't sound right…okay, Lily, I um…have horrible aim?"

"Mr. Potter! Do not lie! As one of our star chasers, your aim is incredibly accurate! Now please just get the apology overwith!"

Lily looked lost. What was a chaser? 

James sucked in a breath. When it came to apologizing, he stunk.

"Lily, I'm sorry for bringing you into this situation and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I wasn't even aiming for you…wait Professor, let me talk (McGonagall narrowed her eyes)…it was a total and complete accident, and I promise that nothing like that will ever happen to you again…at least, not by me."

The Professor sighed. "That'll do." She said, and put a hand on Lily's good shoulder. "You need your rest, Miss." She said, gently pushing her back onto the bed. Lily allowed herself to be directed onto her pillow and James was turning away when she said "Oh, James?"

"Yes?" He asked, sitting on the edge of her bed. 

"I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I forgive you."

And she fell asleep.

James blushed.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lily was back in school three days later. Madame Prenny informed everyone that Lily had amnesia, which was liable to last anywhere from a couple of days, to many, many years. Everybody (besides the Slytherin house) was being kind to her, helping her along with school, and showing her around the castle. The teachers were very sweet to her, and many boys seemed to enjoy this nicer, less defensive version of Lily a little more than the regular one.

It made the Marauders sick.

"Look, the map says she's in the Astronomy Tower with Chris Bergott." Sirius said, smirking, "Hey, the dots aren't on top of each other yet!"

"Give me that!" James said, grabbing the Marauders' Map out from Sirius' clutches. He scanned it. "Quit lying!" He scolded, his face giving away his relief. "She's in the Entrance Hall with Maria Grafton." 

"Psyche!" Sirius yelled. "You should have seen your face, Prongs. It had 'Oh my God, my future wife and child bearer is doing it with some man-whore in the Astronomy Tower' written ALL over it!"

James blushed, and gave the map to Remus.

"Guess Maria decided to go to bed." He said, peering down closely. "She's going back to the Hufflepuff common room."

"So she's by herself?" Peter asked, suddenly showing up from behind the couch. Why? We don't know…maybe it had to do with a certain Dark Lord hanging out Peter. Or the fact that Peter was hanging out with a certain Dark Lord. It probably had something to do with a certain Dark Lord.

"Yeah." Remus said, and raised his wand, preparing to wipe the map clean. "Mischief¾ "

"WAIT!" James yelled, and the whole common room stared. He gulped.

"Don't wipe it clean just yet." He said quietly. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT? I'M NOT A FREAK OR ANYTHING!"

Sirius stopped making bunny ears over James' head, and the common room began to take on its normal chatty nature. 

**1 Hour Later

James trotted around the Common Room impatiently awaiting Lily's late arrival. Sirius sat in his chair, and every time a pretty looking girl passed by, he would hurriedly mat his hair onto his forehead and then casually blow it off, which gave him a 'bad boy' look. Remus was on the floor in front of the chair that Sirius was in, eating a Honeydukes chocolate bar and reading a book. Peter was mysteriously absent (A/N: he wasn't really…I just don't care for him). But who cares about Peter? (A/N: HA! Told you)

Finally, James quickly grabbed the map from a nearby table. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He recited, and soon lines and dots began to form on the worn parchment. He quickly sought out Lily's and discovered that she hadn't moved two feet from where she was an hour ago!

"Sirius, something's wrong here. Is the map defective?"

Sirius jumped off the chair, stepping on Remus. Remus spit out a large chunk of chocolate, and some first years screamed and ran to their dorms. 

"What do you mean?"

"Lily's been standing there for quite a while now…did the map stop working?"

Sirius took hold of the map. "Nope." He said, puzzled. "Filch is prowling around the library with Mrs. Norris, and Professor Flitwick's dot is moving around the kitchens. I don't get it."

Remus wiped chocolate from his mouth and walked over, shoving Sirius onto the floor. "I reckon we check it out." He said, motioning to the portrait hole. "What if she's unconscious or in some kind of trouble? We need to see." James widened his eyes and checked his watch. 

"It's not past curfew yet." He said. "Let's hurry so we don't have to bother with the cloak."

The three boys trooped out of the portrait hole and made their way to the Entrance Hall in a hurry; they ran into some fourth years while running down the staircase, and Sirius' fanclub of girls stole his tie as some of their memorabilia. But they made it to their desired location relatively unscathed, and stopped dead in their tracks.

Lily was sleeping on the floor.

"That's odd." 

"Yes."

"Dude."

They peered down at Lily, wondering how she could have fallen asleep in the middle of the Entrance Hall. They didn't ask questions though, and soon James had scooped her into his arms and was carrying her to the common room with Remus and Sirius leading the way. 

It felt right, to have her in his arms. She seemed to mold perfectly to his figure, and warmth was radiating from her. She seemed to glow in the dim torchlight, and at that moment, James loved everything about her. Her red hair was the perfect shade, her creamy smooth skin was soft as silk, her small form curled up against him, the way she breathed in slow breaths in and out of her nose. It was all enough to make him smile warmly down at her. For as long as she had amnesia, she would be nice, civil, and conversational with him, but it wasn't the Lily that he was used to. The old Lily was funnier than this one and the school's top Charms student. 

The old Lily was hard to please, and when you did, you got a strange (yet good) feeling of accomplishment and pride for doing something that not many people could. When she thought you had done something good, and smiled at you…God he loved that smile. It was full of pearly white teeth and her dimples stood out against her skin. It showed that she was truly proud of you, and James had only been offered that smile one time in his life. That was the first day that he met Lily, in first year, during the sorting, when she was nervous about her house. 

Flashback*

A group of frightened first years stood in the Great Hall, watching hundreds of students watch them as a battered hat was brought out. As the hat sang, James couldn't help but notice a girl with fiery red hair and a horribly scared expression. 

"Don't worry." He assured her. "I'm sure you'll get one of the best houses here. You don't look like Slytherin material, Hufflepuffs are usually blondes, and Ravenclaws are really geeky looking. Gryffindor seems like the best place for you to be. Besides, the house colors match your hair."(A/N: yeah, I know, cheesy, but he's only eleven!)

The redhead made a curious expression, then smiled in acceptance and thanks.

End Flashback*

Yes, that was the same smile he had seen her give all her friends, to her parents when she saw them after term was over, and to a few boys. His heart always ached for that smile, but it did no good at this time. She couldn't remember him, and if she happened to give him the smile, he'd feel good, but deep down, he would know that it wouldn't be sincere. This wasn't the real Lily. 

He wanted Lily to boss him around again and scold him for breaking the rules. He wanted her to give him those eyes that showed that she knew what he was up to, and he missed the way she raised her eyebrows at his stupid one-liners. He loved the way she turned him down for dates. He missed her that bad.

When they reached the portrait hole, Remus and Sirius decided to wait in the Common Room for Peter, and James volunteered to tuck Lily into bed. 

Her room was deserted except for Lynette's bed, which was occupied by said person. James sighed and quickly laid Lily down onto her bed. He sat next to her for a while, and then tried to talk.

"Lily?" He said tentatively. "Its me, James. I know that your memory isn't exactly up to par these days, but please try to listen.

"We all miss you, Lils. This person you've become isn't really you. You don't remember most of us, and you don't remember me and how horrible I used to be. That bothers me. It bothers me because I know that when you say 'Hello' in the halls, its not because your happy to see me; its because to you, now, I've just been a nice boy. Please remember Lily. I know that somewhere in your head, there's all those memories, just waiting to be released. Just don't give up on them. Keep trying. Try for the people that love you. Try for me, Lily."

He paused, but refrained himself from kissing her forehead. Instead, he stroked her cheek gently and carefully left the peaceful room.

From a bed across from Lily's, a tape recorder was shut off, and Lynette was sitting up looking extremely shocked and pleased at the same time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ok, for all you people who didn't get that chapter, Lynette will NOT use the tape of James talking to Lily as ransom or blackmail…there's an entirely different reason for it. And why would Lily fall asleep in the Entrance Hall? BECAUSE I WANTED HER TO. And I needed to get her and James alone again. So there you go! R&R please!


	5. Uh Oh

Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . . but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?  
  
Disclaimer: JK is the soul provider for these great ideas and talents; I merely embellish them into what you see before you now.

Authors Note: I'm SO SORRY if I took so long to update...I have not abandoned the story! Christmas, New Years, everything has been very time consuming, but you know how that is...right? Right.

I am also apologizing beforehand for any errors or spelling mistakes in this chapter. I got a new computer for Christmas (go me) and I have yet to load Microsoft Word into it. The WordPad will have to do for now. Hopefully, I will be smart enough to use my brain to correct and find any errors. Also, when I went to update this story, it wouldn't let me...probably because of the type of WordPad document tag thing...wish me luck, for I am currently sending it to my email and gonna go use sissy's computer to load it...BEAR WITH ME HERE!

With that said, has anyone here into Lord of the Rings? Have you seen the Return of the King? QUALITY entertainment, I assure you. You haven't lived until you've seen it. By the way, the flashbacks and thoughts are supposed to be in italics, but the computer is 'effed up and may not use them. Now that I've been successful in keeping you all waiting long enough, here's the next chapter! Ta ta!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was nearing October 31st, and everyone was sure that the new-and-improved Lily was there to stay. She had shown no signs of remembering anything, and she was beginning to get on some people's nerves. She wasn't the calm, cool, and collected person she used to be. When dealt with a challenging problem, she'd get very nervous and on some occasions she would be seen in the bathrooms crying from being under so many responsibilities. Paige and Lynette were starting to wonder how hard she had actually hit her head. 

"Lily, Lily, its okay!" Paige said nervously as Lily began to tear up in the Common Room one dreary Friday night. "Honey, you're gonna do fine! Lynette!" She hissed, glancing over at the brunette that was currently buried in Lily's old werewolf book. Lynette looked up, a dreading look on her face. "Help me!" Paige mouthed, motioning to the hyperventilating redhead. Lynette hurriedly shook her head, not wanting to be the center of another of Lily's crying spells. Paige furiously shook her head up and down...had anyone been watching, you might have thought she was trying to head-bang. Lynette finally gave in.

"Lily, shush, its okay, hon! Um..." She quickly looked at Paige. "What's okay?" She mouthed.

"The Halloween Ball." Paige mouthed back, patting Lily's back comfortingly. "Right." Lynette whispered.

"Lily, that Halloween Ball is nothing! No one really cares about it! You only need good food and a scary theme!"

Lily began bawling, earning odd looks from everyone around the room. Several people walked upstairs to the dorms muttering about peace and quiet.

"I don't know any scary themes!" She said distressingly. "I can't remember much, you know? After I had that accident or whatever..."

"James will take care of it." Lynette said matter-of-factly. Lily tilted her head up towards her, now silent.

"He will?" 

"Yes. I'm sure of it."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Damn that Lynette!" James whispered furiously from his hiding spot on the top of the stairs. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and himself had been listening to Lily's crying scene trying to figure out what was wrong with her. 

"It's so weird." Peter said, leaning a bit on the stone banister. "Have any of you ever seen anyone act this way from a memory charm or anything?" The rest of the boys shook their heads, trying to make out the rest of the conversation.

"She just said I would take care of the damn ball!" James said, rising from the stairs. "That is IT. I'm sick of doing all this. Lily acts like such a damsel in distress nowadays, and I'm doing BOTH of our Head duties. This sucks wind!"

"James, lower your voice!" Sirius said in fear of being found out. "Yeah, we know. Lily's changed, man. At least she's not crabby and mean anymore...would you rather her be that?" 

"As a matter of fact, YES." James said crisply, remembering his one-person conversation with Lily in her dorm. Every day Lily seemed to be getting more and more emotional...especially when it came to school duties. She would always run to her teachers when a spell seemed too hard or too complicated...and usually they let her get what she wanted, because of her memory lapse. In fact, many of the professors were holding a grudge against James. It may have been my fault, James thought, gritting his teeth, and they may have lost one of their best students...but they still have ME! I've been doing g-r-e-a-t in school lately...teachers are so damn complicated.

"Now I have to arrange the Halloween Ball too!" James said again, frustration evident in his voice. He walked back up to the seventh year dorms, stomping loudly on the stairs like a child, leaving his friends increasingly worried. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lily was scared.

Ever since she had woken up she had been scared.

She didn't usually show it, but she was.

The moment she had awoken in the hospital wing, she knew something was wrong. First of all, she thought she was kidnapped because her surroundings were completely...odd. She had no idea where she was. 

Over the course of the school term, Lily had been trying to find pieces of her identity...like pieces to a puzzle. But it was far too hard. Everything she found only confused her more. Her diary had pages full of things that she was sure could help her out...but it just seemed to mess everything up. In her diary, it said she hated dogs. 

What? She thought. Dogs are adorable. 

It said that she hated cherries. They're not so bad...

And it also revealed things about a 'horrible James Potter'. Now that's nonsense! She remembered thinking. James Potter is one of the sweetest guys I have ever met!

She had certificates and little awards by her bed signifying her great past accomplishments and goals met, but thinking of having to do all those things made Lily want to be sick. How could I have done all of these things? She thought glumly. I can hardly get anything done now.

Now lying in her bed, Lily began to cry. She had been doing that a lot lately. Everyone was constantly telling her to 'just be herself'. How could she when she had no idea what 'herself' was like? Why couldn't she have died instead of lost her memory?

"I can't remember my family." She said through her tears. "I have a sister...some flower name I think...but I don't remember her..." 

She was in a horrible depression stage. She would spend most of her time crying or brooding over her past, but she did her best to hide it from many everyone...she wasn't doing a good job. She could tell that she wasn't acting the way she normally did, she knew that much. But she didn't know how to be like she was before. 

Staring at the awards, the baby blanket spread out over her bed, the pink slippers sitting innocently next to her nightstand, Lily sat up at wiped off her face. If she was going to try and act like she used to, she was going to have to have the endurance. 

"Proper Head Girl duties start now." She murmured, a hint of determination in her voice.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For the next week, Lily actually began to try. She wasn't really the top student, but she began to work harder at things she couldn't do before, or didn't have the patience to stick with. A spell that she couldn't get right would be perfected with ease after a few tries instead of quitting after the first wave of a wand. Crying was something she tried to believe was nonexistent. 

James noticed that she was taking more responsibilities on her hands and was grateful. Doing both of their Head duties was quite overwhelming for him...he wasn't exactly the type of person who enjoyed doing extra work. Yet he still sensed something wrong.

It was Saturday in the Common Room, and most of the students had taken their leave and gone to sleep. James and Lily were an exception. They were still up late with a few of the other workaholics in the Gryffindor House, pouring over decorations for the ball. 

"Nah, I don't think we need those there." Lily said, crossing out the flying bats with her quill. "I don't like bats."

"How would you know?" James retorted hotly. He hated it when he couldn't get his sleep. "Besides, we always have bats at the Halloween ball. Its tradition."

"Sorry!" Lily said in an agitated tone. "I didn't know."

They continued to go over the list of supplies and themes. 

"What sorts of colors should we make the banners and things?" Lily asked nervously; James had been watching her for a while now, and it didn't help when every idea she came up with was somehow just 'not what he had in mind'. 

"Duh. Black and orange. I kind of thought you'd know that one there." James said, scribbling down a note on a corner of the parchment. They would need more; they had already used up two rolls of parchment on the designs alone. 

Lily was overcome with a wave of despair but hid it away and carried on with writing stuff down. How was she supposed to know about Halloween colors? It's not like she could really remember Halloween. 

"That tall man is bringing in pumpkins, right?" Lily asked James when she thought of pumpkins in the Great Hall.

James sighed. "Yes, Lily." He spoke to her like an adult to a child. "Hagrid is growing pumpkins." He began to mutter under his breath about something and was too quiet for Lily to hear, but she was increasingly angry nonetheless. One more time, she thought. One more time and I'm done. James was busy drawing a model of the Great Hall in full color and animation when Lily interrupted him again. 

"James?"

He gritted his teeth. Couldn't she just let him be? He shook his head. What's wrong with me today?

"Yes...?" He asked, trying to make himself patient, but only making it seem like he was…well, not.

With that one word said, Lily's face suddenly became stony and hard. She glared at him through her beautiful green eyes...they were watering rapidly. What...what did I say? James wondered.

Lily tried to stand but hit her knee on the table; her reflexes reacted immediately, making her kick James directly in his...well yeah. 

Her recoiled sharply in pain, squirming around in his seat trying to catch his breath. Lily as well had her eyes shut because of her smarting kneecap, and didn't notice the pain she had bestowed upon James.   
  
"Ice..." James said suddenly after a few minutes.

"What?" Lily asked, opening her eyes. She saw James and his uncomfortable disposition. "Oh...oh! My God, I am SO sorry James! Please forgive me! I was just..." She saw that James was actually listening and blushed. "Go on..." He said, curious despite his pain. 

"No, we should take care of you first." Lily said, effectively killing the subject. "Should I take you to the hospital wing or just leave you still?"

It was quite funny, really... anyone overhearing them might have thought it was something extremely serious. 

"I just need ice..." James said, going over his options quickly. Option 1: He could just lay here in pain and wait until he felt better. Embarrassment and harassment dodged. Option 2: He could risk further injury and let Lily take him to the hospital wing, only to be very embarrassed when he had to face Madame Prenny. However, she could see to it that the pain and...any other damages done could be taken care of. Neither option was very appealing. 

He cursed his luck. The OLD Lily would have probably known some kind of healing spell. Sure, his mum was a healer, but still...he had no desire to be one. He had no idea what the hell went on in their heads. The spells were too complicated anyhow.

"Erm...sure, lets get to the infirmary." He stood up, and Lily tried not to watch as he protectively covered his injured area with his hands. "Do you...uh...need help?" She asked, fighting back giggles rising in her throat.

"Nah, just come with me." He didn't want to be embarrassed by Madame Prenny alone. Lily would be a comfort to have there. Besides, he needed to talk with her. 

Together, Lily and James walked slowly to the hospital wing, James occasionally letting out a grunt. Lily was forever glad that she wasn't a male.

"Does that really hurt that bad?" She asked him, earning a glare. 

"Yes."

No more was said.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"...and that's what happened. I might need a little bit of medicine for my knee too, Madame, it's bruising up. 

Madame Prenny looked between the two teens, amusement evident on her face. "You two sit tight now." She said, ushering them to some nearby chairs. "I'll be back in a minute."

Retreating to a back room, Madame Prenny went to go fetch some supplies. Every so often a chuckle or bark of laughter was heard and James and Lily would go red in the face; both because of embarrassment and outrage. 

She finally returned, an ice pack for James in her hand. "Drink this, both of you." She said, handing them a vial of pinkish-orange liquid. Lily drank it all down, though it was very bitter and thick. 

Handing her empty vial back to Madame Prenny, she wiped off her mouth and glanced at James. He was holding the ice pack to his groin and drinking the liquid at the same time. A laughable situation. 

She noticed that the pain was receding from her knee and the bruise was slowly fading away. Satisfied with the results, she smiled and thanked Madame Prenny for her help. James on the other hand, had finished his vial and was clutching the ice pack for dear life.

"Dear, your pain will be gone in a moment." The nurse said smiling. "I need for you to give me the ice pack." 

James shook his head, shrinking away from her. The nurse sighed. 

"Fine, fine!" She said. "When you think you're done with it, put it in one of the sinks." 

She left Lily and James in the empty room. It technically wasn't empty, 'cause Lily and James were still there, but you get it. 

"Lily?" James asked, opening his eyes. Lily raised a brow in question. 

"What...what was that all about?"

Lily sighed, knowing he was probably going to ask this sooner or later. "I don't know how to say this James, but...you upset me back there."

"Upset? How?" James asked in confusion, sitting up a little straighter and removing the ice pack.

"You were acting as if I had no sense. Like I didn't remember anything."

"You...don't." James said, not really sure where this was going.

"Exactly, James. I don't and it's not my fault! Can you tell me whose fault it is?" 

James felt the guilt drop like a rock into his stomach.

"Mine." He said finally, slumping a bit. 

Lily sniffed, and James realized that she was going to have a crying spell. "Don't cry! Please don't cry..." He hated crying girls.

"James," Lily said, a lone tear streaking down her cheek. "I can't remember anything. Do you know how hard that is on me? Everyone tells me to 'be myself' and I can't say I know how! I'm trying to do all these things, be friends with all these people, get used to all this stuff that's totally new to me." She took a deep breath. James felt his heart reach out to her.

"I can't even remember my own mum and dad." She said miserably, another tear rolling down her face. "I don't know their voices, their faces, it's like I don't even have parents."

James nodded, understanding what that felt like, for he had lost a father himself. "James. Look at me, please." Lily said when James uncomfortably looked away.

"I want to remember. I want to remember how I once was, my family...I want to remember you, James."

She began to get closer, but James moved away slightly. "You don't want to remember me." He said quietly.

Lily frowned. "Why not?"

"Because!" James said, suddenly angry. "I was a jerk to you! I was always hard on you, I was mean to you! You really don't want to remember that."

Lily slowly reached up until her hand touched his cheek. She turned his face to hers. "You're not like that now." She said. "And now is all I have to go by."

They stared at each other for endless minutes, staring into each others' eyes, searching the crevices of the other's soul. Finally James could take it no longer and closed the distance between them. 

He was very hesitant in his actions, slowly moving his lips over hers, waiting for her to give him any sign of approval or dislike. To his (immense) surprise, Lily put her other hand on the back of his head and deepened the kiss, passion moving like fire between them. James had just wrapped his arms around Lily's waist when she heard a voice.

"Evans, I'm Head Boy. Deal with it."

That sounded familiar...

"I mean, I have no idea how much I can take! He just needs to grow up! Sure, he hasn't pulled a prank on anyone since sixth year, but he's still the same immature, childish, womanizing James Potter!"

Now THAT was VERY familiar...

"Wait! How did you know my middle name?" 

"Girls talk." 

Waidamannit.

"Lily! Watch out!"

Darkness. 

It was in that moment that Lily remembered. 

Her eyes shot open in a blur of green and she pulled away from James quickly as if scorched. His eyes were still closed, and his lips were slightly pursed; he looked frozen in time, like he was trying to preserve this moment forever. He opened his eyes.

"Lily?" He said, a confused look etched into his features. Lily gave him a look of malice and frost that made James inwardly shudder. "Lily...what...?"

And when he looked directly into the deep recesses of her eyes, he saw something that made his blood run cold and his very being screaming down the corridors. 

Recognition. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well I spent HOURS on this chapter; I hope it's satisfactory for you. I don't know if I left you at what you'd call a cliff-hanger, but I hope that in some way, shape, or form I kept you on the edge of your seat! Love you all, thanks for all the reviews, ya'll are the BEST! HAPPY (late) NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 2004=ROCK THE SOX  
  
Have no idea what just happened there.


	6. Conflicting Emotions

A Simple Mind

Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart…but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?

Disclaimer: I own THIS story and the computer I type it on…JK Rowling is the genius I get my ideas from. I'm ashamed to say it. Go on, beat me! 

Ow. Ok you've had your sick fun.

Ow. All right, that's good.

Ow. 

Author's note: SHIT! I'M REALLLLLLLLLLLY sorry about not writing this sooner. I had good reasons, really! First, I didn't write it cause I was a little busy. Then I was lazy. Then I went on a trip with my class to Washington D.C. We made fun of Canadians from Van Couver or something. No offense to all you Canadians out there. You all talk normally, but once you get in a real conversation, you get an accent. 

EXAMPLE: In America, about is pronounced "A-bow-T"

The Canadians pronounced it "A-boo-T"

It was kind of funny, but they were cool. I feel sorta bad, cuz we actually passed them at breakfast and went:

"cough cough STAY ON UR SIDE cough cough" actually SAYING the cough part. Most of em were awesome tho. 

Oh yes, did I mention that I made high school dance team? I'm still in eighth grade, but I'm gonna be on dance team when I get to ninth grade and stuff. I get to wear loads of cool outfits, do half-time shows at football/basketball games, pep rallies, parades…and everyone is realllly nice. I didn't think I would make it, cuz tryouts were so hard, but when I got the phone call from the instructor, I was a squealer:

"Congratulations on being one of the newest members on our dance team!"

"Really? OH MY GOSH! Thanks!"

Now that I think about it, I sounded kind of retarded, but OH FRIGGEN WELL. I've dreamt of being on dance team since like fourth or fifth grade. I lurve dancing. 

Well, yeah. I hope that was all great enough info for you. My b-day was back in February…and it really sucked. I cried and everything. Reviews might help me feel better…even if it was a while ago. 

Ok, if you all can forgive me (ESPECIALLY THE CANADIANS!) read on to the SIXTH chapter of A Simple Mind. 

***

  
James was frozen to the spot. He couldn't breathe. He could practically see the wheels turning at breakneck speed in Lily's brain. 

"Lily, wait –I can explain –"

SLAP!

Lily had flung her hand back and a deafening sound rang off the walls. James' head was pounding, and he could feel a sensation of intense pain where Lily had smacked him on the cheek. He could tell it was probably beet-red now, and there would probably be a bruise there soon.

Her eyes flashed an angry green. 

"JAMES POTTER! HOW _DARE_ YOU?!" She screeched. "WHAT THE _HELL _DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!"

"Lily, hold on! I…I thought…"

"EXACTLY! YOU _DIDN'T _THINK! I'M SURPRISED YOU THINK AT ALL! YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IF I WANTED IT!"

"Now WAIT!" James roared, sucking up his nerve. "Who says you didn't want me to do it? Your words were, and I quote, 'You're not like that now, and now is all I have to go by'. Tell me what the meaning of THAT was!"

"Well…well-uh…" Lily spluttered. "I was out of sorts then! I wasn't in my right mind, you know?"

"Oh, I know all right. Always crying and whining; you got on everyone's nerves –"

SLAP!

Lily had lashed out her hand in fury and struck James on his other cheek. He could almost feel tears pierce his eyes as he reached up a gentle hand to stroke his stinging face.

"SHUT UP!" She screamed at him, causing him to wince. She stood up and was about to depart from the hospital wing when James called out to her.

"Lily…please…listen to me." 

Lily suddenly screeched to a halt and slowly turning around, barely containing her rage. 

"_Don't call me Lily._" She whispered in a deadly, shaking voice. She straightened her robes and strolled stiffly out of the infirmary.

Meanwhile, James was shocked. In about five minutes, he had gone from a sucky relationship with the prettiest girl he had ever laid eyes on to a wonderful, passionate relationship, and then back to an EXTREMELY sucky relationship once more. What happened?

Of course, he knew what had happened. Lily had hated him and lost her memory. Then, while suffering from memory loss, she had thought of him as a nice boy. Then she had somehow gotten a tad upset. The next part was obvious.

She got her memory back. 

Kiss kiss, you're dead. 

He frowned as a tutting noise was made.

"Do you need to stay a while longer dear? You look as if you've been stung by a bee."

James sighed as he allowed Madame Prenny to nurse his bruising face. 

***

"Lily! Are you sure? Its all back?" Lynette knocked on Lily's head to prove her point. Lily laughed and swatted her hand away. 

"Yes, I'm sure. I remember everything. No blank spots, honest."

"THAT'S a relief." Paige said, dropping onto the floor of their dorm with a book. Lily suddenly made a furious growl in her throat, causing the relaxing girl to glance back up.

"And speaking of remembering _everything_…" She clenched her fists and told them of what had just transpired between her and James. The two friends listened quietly, raising an eyebrow at some parts, feeling utterly speechless at others. When she finished, Paige spoke up, looking nervous about what she was saying. 

"Lily, listen…I know you must be upset…but James didn't do anything. I mean he _did_, but he…he didn't know…"

"What Paige is saying," Cut in Lynette, "is that you sort of…initiated it."  
  
"Initiated it?" Lily said, fury rising once more. "How so?"

"Well…you've been kind of cozying up to him for a while now…"

"And he didn't know what to do, probably…you were sticking him with all that stuff…playing the helpless damsel and all…"

"But _he _kissed _me_." She said angrily. "First." She added, in a slight whisper. 

"BUT you led James on." Lynette finished, crossing her arms. "And you're blaming him." 

"You're taking _his _side?" Lily balled up her fists. _How could they?_

"We aren't!" Paige assured her. "You've just…you've got a hot temper, Lils. When it comes to James, that's all anyone ever sees."

"Try to control it more, Lily." Lynette said, climbing into bed because it was quite late. "I'm going to sleep." She shut her curtains swiftly. 

"'Night." Paige said coldly, and climbed into her own bed, following Lynette's actions and shutting them sharply. Lily was left standing in the middle of the floor, very confused. 

"Goodnight." She whispered, her voice making her seem like she was a small, scared, eleven-year-old again. 

***

__

Dear Diary,

Hello again. I had good news and not-so-good news. Which first? I'd give you the not-so-good news first so that I'd have something to cheer me up at the end, but I need the good news to go first so you can understand my predicament. 

I got my memory back. Every single bit. God, I never thought I'd remember my family's names again. Anyway, by everything, I mean, EVERYTHING. Including why I suffered from amnesia in the first place. James Potter knocked me out with a pitcher at breakfast a few weeks ago. I forgave him in my delusional state, I think. Anyway, I acted like a total ass. I couldn't remember any spells, so I just sucked up to teachers. Then I stuck James with all the Head work…I felt bad about that (in my fucked up state) so I tried real hard and ended up sharing with him. 

Then that JERK started acting strange. He kept getting snappy and cross with me at every single word. I dunno what his problem was. Anyways, I kicked him in his gonads by mistake, bruised my knee, and we went to the hospital wing. You DON'T want to know how all that happened. I told James about how upset I was…and then I think I must have gone insane, really. Because I started talking about how sweet he was and all…and whoever's' fault it was, we kissed. 

Don't get me wrong, in my right mind, I would NEVER kiss a Potter. But he's…kind of good at it. Must be all the experience from those other girls. Figures. 

But seriously, Diary. Even if I wasn't in my right mind…that kiss was indescribable. It was like we were melting together…it was passionate and…and…and sexy. God, I don't know what to say! I shouldn't feel this way about that horrible Potter loser! Besides, he's probably really angry now, just like me. 

I did hit him pretty hard though…

Oh, who really cares? I'll get my mind off him by going to the Halloween Ball and scouting out the hotties…even though they'll all be masked. 

Still…No use crying over spilt milk.

No use chasing someone who I chased away in the first place. 

-Lily 

P.S. Cherries ARE gross, I still HATE dogs, and James H. Potter is still HORRIBLE.

***

"James?" 

"Sirius…just leave him." Remus pleaded. "It looks like he had a rough night."

James could hardly comprehend the words that two of his three best friends were saying. His whole world was a mess. Though Madame Prenny was able to cure his wounds in a few seconds flat, his subconscious kept reminding him of the pain ripping across his face. He remembered Lily's kind, loving eyes turning angry and hard…for a fleeting second he had hoped, dreamed, even perhaps _thought_ that Lily was giving him a chance. But he was wrong. 

Lily was in denial; that was it! Maybe she had felt something too…but it wasn't likely. He doubted that if he had been in her situation that he would have acted any better. 

__

This must be an emotional meltdown. He thought as he heard Sirius and Remus leave the room for breakfast. He burrowed into his pillow and held the covers over his head, trying to think of happy thoughts. 

__

I'm ten years old again…ten years old and invincible.

He smiled a bit, remembering being ten years old and thinking himself King of the World. He quickly ran through all the events leading up to his acceptance to Hogwarts, the train ride where he had met Sirius and Remus…the boat he was in when he was introduced to Peter by Hagrid…and then there was Lily.

His smile drooped. He was so stupid when he was eleven. Always trying to be the best and the coolest. Maybe that was why Lily hated him. In fifth year she said it. 

__

"You make me SICK."

But he hadn't stopped chasing her. 

He would never stop chasing her.

Now why WAS that?

Suddenly James sat up in bed and threw open his curtains, eyes practically brimming with tears from the sudden exposure to the harsh sunlight. Suddenly the sun wasn't so bright…it was kind of nice. 

And his bed felt really fluffy and comforting…and the view outside the window of the lake! Perfect day for Quidditch. 

Suddenly the tears spilled over his eyes and he began to give tiny short laughs. He was crying out of joy. 

He was joyful out of love.

"I love her." He said out loud, laughing some more. He suddenly lost control and let out a whoop of enthusiasm, jumping on his bed, hitting his head on the top of the canopy. He fell onto his pillow and laughed some more. 

"I love her. I love her." He ran to the window to feel the sunny breeze and reached for his glasses to get an even better sight. When his glasses were on his nose, he sighed into the wind and inhaled a deep breath of autumn air.

__

I love being in love. 

***

I hope James didn't scare you there. Just trying to prove a point. Once again, Canadians are still REALLY cool. Don't hurt me or pinch me or spank me…on second thought go ahead and do that last one…heh heh, just kidding. Hope you enjoyed this chapter…Happy April Fools and crap even though its passed and I haven't fooled you guys…damn I wish we could still have Authors Notes as chapters cause then I would make you all think it was a chappie and April Fools you ALL. Yeah well…you know the drill. Review now!


	7. Sirius' Mistake, James' Undoing

A Simple Mind

Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart…but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?

Disclaimer: If I own them, you can order something from ACME CO. and drop it on my head…courtesy of the roadrunner itself!

Author's note: Sorry I took so long…beat me with a wet noodle if you want! I mean really, for taking so long, I wouldn't be surprised if you all think I abandoned the story! I DIDN'T! I just had a little writers block on the Fortune Cookies story and I guess it brought me down. I have plans for it and this story though, don't worry. HERE YOU GO: The Seventh Installment!

"All right, Prongs, time to –" Sirius blinked as he stared around James' empty bed. "…Prongs?" The concerned boy frowned and checked under a pillow. "James?" He looked under the bed. "Full moon, man…James! Remus is waiting!" No answer. Grumbling, Sirius quickly glanced out the window. The full moon glowed brightly back at him. He shook his head.

"James never misses a full moon…he came up to bed, didn't he?" He questioned himself, and began checking under Peter's, Remus', and his own bed.

"You shouldn't talk to yourself, mate." A sudden voice said from the window. "People will start to think."

"James?" Sirius asked, bumping his head on the top of the bed. "Where'd you go?"

James swung through the open window, grinning from ear to ear. Sirius hadn't seen him look so happy since he had been first announced as a Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team in second year.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked, surprised. James ran over to him and ruffled his hair.

"Getting a breath of fresh air on the tower." He said casually.

"Wait a second," Sirius said, pushing James off him. "You mean…you sat on the roof of the tower? Where's your broom?"

"Climbed. Why fly when I've got all this pent-up stamina?" James asked. "It's not too far up from here."

"You're telling me you climbed up to the roof."

"Yes. I feel like I could do anything right about now." He jumped onto a random bed and jumped back off. "Padfoot…Padfoot, Padfoot, _Padfoot_."

"…Er…yeah, James?" Sirius said, genuinely confused about his best friend's behavior.

"I've never felt this way before, man." James said, staring out at the moon. Speaking of moon…

"James, Remus isn't gonna wait too much longer for us." Sirius said nervously. "Can we –"

"Sirius, I'm in _love_."

Sirius stopped. Love?

"You're in…what?"

"Love! In love with Lily Evans! I mean…it's great, man. It really is."

"Oh, yeah." Sirius said, mentally smacking himself. "Yeah, everyone knows that."

"No! Not the infatuated, loony, stalker kind of love…the kind of love where I close my eyes and see her, where whenever I picture her face I'm not lonely or sad anymore, where no matter where I am I can think of her voice and that'll be enough for me to face a million dementors –"

"James, you're rambling!" Sirius said, shaking his friend. "You can't be serious…you're in actual, true, once-in-a-lifetime love?"

James beamed. "What other kind is there?"

Sirius shook his head. "James, that's great…but how can you be sure?"

"How am I NOT sure?" James asked, leaning on his bedpost. "I just…I know."

Sirius sat on James' bed and basked in a tranquil silence, temporarily forgetting Remus and the full moon. He cleared his throat. James still had a goofy smile on his face and when he looked up, his eyes were so glossy and shiny that Sirius could have sworn he saw stars.

"So…er…what's…what's it like?" He asked a little awkwardly.

"What's what like?"

"You know…the whole…love thing."

"Oh." James flopped animatedly on his bed close by Sirius and grinned at the canopy, closing his eyes. "It's amazing…you feel like you're invincible…like…like you've flown to the top of Mount Everest on your favorite broomstick and you're looking out on the world through the eyes of the mountain itself, or as if –"

"As if you could get all poetic on your best mate?" Sirius asked innocently, but still cheekily. James thwacked him with a pillow.

"Yeah…and like…I dunno…it's just a warm, fuzzy feeling…like I can do anything in the world and survive because I know that her face, her voice, everything I know about her will always stay with me and that's all I need to get by…"

"Oh." Said Sirius. He felt a little jealous, really. Love sounded like a great thing to be in.

"So…how does Lily feel about all this?" He asked, messing with a tassel on the bedpost. James didn't respond for several seconds. "…James?" He looked over to see James frowning up at the ceiling.

"Thanks a lot, mate."

"Sorry guys…James won't be joining us for a while." Sirius thought to Remus and Peter as he entered the Shrieking Shack. He shook his furry head, spraying drool onto little Peter.

"_What happened_?" Remus asked, glancing at the shaking rat before swiping it with his tail, getting most of the slobber off.

"_Heh…long story…he's sort of depressed though…won't leave his room. I will tell you this though: He's in love."_

"_Love_?" Peter squeaked. "_You mean with that Lily Evans_?"

"_Everyone knows that_." Remus quipped.

"_No, no, not the kind of love we think…it's really strange. It's making James act funny…like all poetic and full of energy and stuff_."

"_James is being poetic_?" Remus jumped onto a ripped up sofa. "_That doesn't sound like him_."

"_Yeah and get this: He climbed up to the top of the tower and was watching the moon_."

"That's really high!" Peter squealed. Sirius barked in agreement. Remus put his head in his paws. There was a comfortable silence where the three occupants were thinking their own random thoughts on the situation when suddenly…

"_Hey, Remus_?" Sirius barked, getting the attention of his werewolf friend.

"_James was watching the moon…you don't think…_" The two hounds glanced at each other, sparks of delight in their eyes before simultaneously going to a window and howling loudly at the moon. Peter knew, of course, that it was just their own obnoxious, loud, trademark howl and didn't think much of anything when Remus began to snarl. However when he lunged at the window to break it and climb out, Sirius nudged him and whimpered.

"_Sorry guys…all that howling took over my brain for a moment_." Remus apologized, his tail hanging between his hind legs. All three animals sat in quiet silence once more.

"_…so." _Remus shuffled.

"_Hm_." Peter coughed.

"_You guys wanna go explore the Forbidden Forest_?"

"_Nah_."

"…"

"_What about Hogsmeade_?"

"_Em…no, not tonight_."

"…"

"_How about that little clearing we found by the lake last month_?"

"_Nothing there; no use exploring it_."

"…"

"_Are we going anywhere tonight_?"

Sirius sighed. "_It isn't very fun without James, is it_?"

"_No_." Peter agreed, scurrying over to Sirius and resting on his fluffy tail. Remus made an agonizing sound, like a very tired, bored animal.

"_This has got to be the least amount of fun I've ever had during a full moon in my entire life_." He whined. "_At least during all the others I got to lose my mind and rip things up_."

"_And during the ones since fifth year all four of us have gotten together and explored_." Peter chipped in, cuddling more into Sirius' tail.

"_So are me and Peter no fun_?" Sirius asked, in his innocently cheeky kind of way.

"_No, you are_!" Remus exclaimed, jumping up. "_I mean, with James you all seem real alive and well…I should be more grateful…all those times where there was no one with me talking to me was hell. I had no say in anything I did, it was all the stupid wolf part and I just didn't think_ –"

"_Woah, man! Easy there_!" Sirius hopped up, and Peter slid off his tail. "_I was only kidding. I'm sorry_." He nudged his nose with Remus' in an apologetic manner. Remus barked and the two started a little wrestling match in the middle of the floor.

A few hours later, the three sat in the middle of the living room of the little shack, worn out from all the rough housing. Remus broke the silence.

"_So, Sirius, what got James all upset_?"

Sirius gave a nervous snuff. "_Well, uh…I gave him the opportunity to let him think of the possibility that Lily didn't love him in return_."

"_And what'd he do_?" Remus pressed.

"_He's miserable. Refused to move from his bed. That's part of why I was late_."

"_What's the other part_?" Peter asked from a little crook in the wall.

"_Uh…guilt and shame_."

"_Why_?" Peter asked.

"_Do I have to explain everything_?" Sirius growled, annoyed. "_It's just…um…James looked really happy…I think it made me sort of upset to know that I kind of…stopped him from being happy, I guess_."

"_So what can we do_?"

Sirius sighed. "_I dunno. Something bad happened between them, I'm sure. I mean, Lily likes him now, and there's no reason that_ –"

"_Hold on_." Remus interrupted. "_Lily likes James_."

"_Correct._"

"_And James loves Lily_."

"_Yep_."

"_And something bad happened between them that was conveniently forgotten_?"

"_You got it_."

"…_has Lily's memory returned, by any chance, mate_?" Sirius frowned.

"_I don't know…James isn't too keen on talking about it anymore…do you think it could have_?"

Remus shrugged. He had been kept in the Whomping Willow since before sundown; he didn't know what James or Lily had been up to.

"_What if it did_…" Peter squeaked uneasily.

"_Then…then Lily wouldn't be very happy_."

"James wasn't in school today." Lynette said as she folded back the covers of her bed.

"He never skips class." Paige said. "I mean, yeah he's a goof off, but he's the Head Boy. He isn't that stupid."

"I heard from someone that he was holding himself up in his room." Lynette climbed into bed.

"Wonder why?" Paige questioned as she too got into her own bed.

"I would bet that he's still broken up about my big 'confession' from the other night." A voice from the bathroom answered. Lily emerged.

"I'm going to the Common Room to read."

"It's nearly eleven at night!" Paige exclaimed. "Why would you want to read in there now?"

"I feel like being alone." Lily said stiffly. Paige stared but eventually shrugged and shut her curtains. Lynette looked at Lily helplessly and also went to sleep. Lily went down to the Common Room, her favorite book in hand.

Down in the Common Room, Lily was all alone. Everyone had been preparing for the Halloween Ball and was getting rested up for it, as it was in a few more days. The silence was deafening and Lily found it hard to concentrate on reading. She heard a barely audible bump. She slowly lifted her head from her book. 

"Hello?" She asked hesitantly. Another bump. Then a thump. She frowned. It was coming from the direction of the boy's dormitories. She set her book on the table and cautiously walked over to the staircase. More thumps. A small voice sounded, but Lily couldn't hear what it said…it sounded muffled.

"Hello?" She said louder, walking up the stairs. It wasn't coming from anyone in first year…or second year…or third, fourth, fifth, or sixth year, for that matter. The seventh year dorms were quite loud. Lily wondered how no one was hearing it. She leaned up to the door. She jerked her head back as an object hit the other side of the door right where her head was.

"Get out, Sirius!"

James.

"James, Remus needs us, we have to go, NOW!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Something smashed.

"James, you're overreacting!"

"I'M REACTING JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT!"

"WHY ARE YOU BEHAVING THIS WAY?!"

"SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!"

Lily frowned. Who DIDN'T love James? He was a goddamn idol! EVERYONE loved him!

"…who gave you that idea?"

"YOU DID!"

"I did?"

"Yes! She means everything to me! And now she doesn't love me back? It isn't fair…and…and it hurts."

"How does it hurt?"

"It just does! My head, my mind…" There was a pause. "My chest hurts too." He said as an afterthought.

"Where?"

"I dunno…like, right here." Silence for a second. A sigh. "Just leave me, Sirius. I don't care anymore. Just tell my professors tomorrow that I'm not feeling well."

Lily heard heavy footsteps. She ran to the end of the corridor and hid in a dark shadow while the door opened. James stood inside, holding the door open for Sirius, who was leaving. James looked horrible. There were lines and dark blotches under his eyes (which were bloodshot), his face was red, and his hair was even more messed up than usual.

Sirius didn't look any better. The usually tame dark hair looked as if it had been pulled out, and he looked rather nervous. His robes looked disheveled, and the two wizards stared back at each other sadly.

"Go, Sirius." James whispered, turning his head down. Sirius looked broken and torn, as if wondering if he should go do his little errand or comfort his best friend.

Lily couldn't believe what she was witnessing. The undoable duo, the untamable two, the best friends to ever grace (or disgrace) the grounds of Hogwarts…

Looked _utterly _defeated.

A/N: Somewhat of a dark chapter. I want you all to know, I really did not mean to take this long. I'd have this chappie up sooner, but my internet connection isn't doing to hot. I've got a plan though (always do!) and NO this is not the end for quite a while…I'm betting on making this story about fifteen chapters long maybe…dunno have to see…this WON'T go until graduation like I planned…mostly because I heard somewhere that in England they don't HAVE graduations…could someone clue me in? Thankies! R&R as always!


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